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Update.... again.

I feel melancholy tonight. Well, more than that- I feel lonely again.

I'm talking to a really cool guy on OKC right now. He's really funny, we've exchanged numbers and I'll be seeing him next Friday, but I'm still lonely. I know who I want, and I also know I'll never get him. That's quite a lonely thought.

Yesterday I was feeling like everything in my life was finally going to be falling into place. Emily has an off-campus apartment that I WILL be moving into by August. I got a call from a dentist office yesterday who seemed like they really wanted me to work there. I knew what I was doing for school.

Today I feel completely different. The apartment is still there- hell, we're getting a bunk bed. But today I got no call from the dentist office. I applied to two more offices looking for receptionists. Since February I've applied to close to 100 jobs. I'm feeling like it might never come- or come too late.

My dad keeps making "jokes" about me never completing school. I finally lost it and shouted at him that it wasn't my fault that I only have 9 units this semester. It's really not my fault- by the time I was able to register (the date they gave me was one of the last) there were barely any classes left, and the ones I did get I had to crash and add. It's not my fault I only go to class three days a week. At the point it's not even my fault that I don't have a job.

I'm just wondering what plan God's got in store for me. I thought I had it all figured out, now I'm feeling lost at a crossroads with no roadmap. AAA, where are you when I need you?


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 2nd, 2009 03:19 pm (UTC)
"I know who I want, and I also know I'll never get him. That's quite a lonely thought."

Ugh...Been there hun...*hugz* Things will get better. I promise.
May. 2nd, 2009 05:24 pm (UTC)
Listen, hun, sometimes it does take a lot longer than you'd planned to finish school. My friends Jenn and Chelsea were is school almost as long as I knew them. It took Jenn in particular 6 years to finish her AA degree. She got finished her B.A. in another two and is looking at grad school now. Chelsea finally finished at Berkely and is going to be attending grad school in Austin now.

My ex, Marc, attended no less than five different colleges before he graduated from one.

And me? I can't even expect to graduate until I'm thirty-frickin'-two at the absolute earliest (and if I have a degree in my hand before I'm 35, it'll be a miracle)

Hold the course. Keep at it. Just- whatever you do, here's my absolute only advice from someone who has "been there, done that"- don't take time off. Take even one or two classes a semester if you have to, but stay in school no matter what. If you take time off, your chances of finishing plummet.
May. 2nd, 2009 05:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks hon.

Oh, I definitely know that. I know I'll finish school. It's just that no one else believes me, and it makes me feel like crap.

At least I know I'm not alone! Here's to the graduating class of 20.. well, we'll get there.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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